Lost In The Sound Of Separation ā€“ Underoath

The Christian lads of Underoath remind me of a shady moment in my youth. My friends and I had taken over the Lapdance palace (actually a humble house in the suburbs) during a daytime session in which Iā€™m sure we should have actually been at school cramming our brains with useless information.

It was a boiling hot day, so sans air conditioning, all my friends were in various forms of undress, the girls in bras and panties and the boys in their boxer shorts (no tightey whiteys for this mob). We were trying to keep cool by downing frosties and ice cube cooled biffos. The music that was spinning round and round was very heavy and the thumping bass lines drowned out the insistent knocking at the front door.  

During a brief pause between tracks in the audio onslaught, I finally heard the knocking. I went to the door, opened it and found two young gentlemen in suits and ties trying to tell me about the lord. My addled brain could only come up with one idea, invite them in!

They entered the darkened room and sat on the couch. My two most cleavlicious friends flanked them on either side and offered them a world of temptation. As the words and tongues lashed their ears, I could see a world opening up for them that might transcend the limited one of their chosen religion. As soon as I saw the chasm start to split open, it snapped shut, they turned bright red and got up without a word and ran for the door.

In the aftermath of their embarrassment, I thought that any religion worth its weight in gold icons should embrace a wider worldview and not a narrow doctrine that precludes the joys in bawdy behavior. How can you feel the glory of the big guy without knowing the glory in ones own lower region.

I think the boys in Underoath must have experienced a similar situation in their youth but they were smart enough to stay to the end and see it out. Because only a group of open minded and worldly Christians could mix up the secular and non-secular world in song and make it so heavy and so right. The body, the mind, the spirit and the perfect fifth can coexist.
Lapdance Larry

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